Finally achieving something that you've been working towards for a very long time is the weirdest feeling. On one hand, you're ecstatic that you've finally come to the end of the metaphorical 10 km marathon. However, there's still that niggling feeling that there were paths left unexplored, stones unturned and missed opportunities to do something differently and completely alter your final outcome.
Graduating high school after 13 years is a similar feeling. After working so hard, especially over the last two years and during my final exams, I didn't feel the sense of sheer relief i had anticipated. Instead of being able to spend the next four months (until I start university) relaxing, my mind constantly questions the future and what it will bring for me. Don't get me wrong - Graduation and Formal was an amazing evening, and I was so lucky to be given three special awards (Academic Achievement, Outstanding English Achivement, and Most Merit Points over six years) - but i'm just a little bit apprehensive about what happens after graduation.
Those who know me, know that i require constant structure and routine in order to function normally. At the moment, my life is particularly uncertain and lacks a great deal of routine. Most mornings I wake up and don't have to do anything at all during the day, forcing me to use my imagination or just finish an entire book in 12 hours *cough* The Perks of Being a Wallflower. Sometimes I might have to go to work, or a party at night. Other than that, I have so much free time on my hands that I have no idea how to spend or use in a relatively productive manner. I guess this blog will be able to help me with a lot of this 'Post High School Boredom Disorder' or PHSBD for short.
The next couple of weeks look a lot more promising, with Schoolies week next week and my family starting their holidays in the next month or so. Also, let's hope i pass my second driving test (after failing the first for THE most stupid reason) and can drive myself to more interesting places. And let's not forget the dreaded results day - December 19th. There will either be tears or joy... no happy medium.
Until next time,